January 16, 2012
-
Sometimes, people are unaware of their bad habits until someone points them out. At other times, they’re fully aware of them but either like them and so continue in them, or don’t know what to do about them and so don’t do anything about them.
And then, at other times, they are aware of their bad habits and begin the process of forging new, better habits.
God, being God, and therefore gracious, good and patient (as well as righteous, pure, just and holy), has been working with me on my habits, on how I spend my His time and on making changes towards the right, good and better. The need for change has been on my heart and mind a great deal over this past year. A year ago, I was all-but-housebound, not even making it out the door to school many days, because of the insanity that was my skin situation. I ended up missing nearly a month of school and then got stacked up on lots of steroids and have been living a much more normal-looking life since about the end of March/beginning of April, with the exception of lots of steroids, a sliding scale of 40 lbs. and an average of 2-3 doctors’ visits per week. But last year, I didn’t sleep more than three hours at a time from November to February. And many, many nights and days, I was awake, awake, awake. And when you’re awake, rocking and writhing in pain, when you’re supposed to be asleep, and you’ve spent time in prayer, and you’ve spent time online and you’ve spent time in the dark and you’re still awake, you have time to think and evaluate. (You even have time before all that
but you for sure have time at that point.)One central theme that came out of that time was on the use of the life God has given me and how it is or isn’t being used for His glory. That, as a subject in and of itself is still Very Large In My Mind. I don’t have all the answers I want and therefore, it feels frustrating, overwhelming, too huge and I-can’t-handle-this-all-right-now. However, the response to that in The New Life of Deborah (as opposed to pre-skin/adrenal/we-don’t-know-what’s-wrong-with-you situation) is “No! You can’t handle it all. But you can handle something. So start with something.” And that is what I am doing, and why I am planning to jot a few notes here, if for no other reason than for myself, to have record (and upkeep) of the Something that I am doing to better use the time and the life God has given me.
The area I’m writing about today will quite probably come across to the general reader (if so such reader exists) as frivolous. And yet, for me, it’s a small step towards greater purposefulness and easy to track. Therefore, it is the first.
One particular bad habit I have is of reading books that I love overandoverandoverandoverandoverandover. I honestly, truly couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve read certain favorite books–literally, into the hundreds of times, of that I am *quite* certain. Some of them truly are of terrific quality and I am not sorry for the reading. However, it is a very big world, there is a great deal of information out in it, and as this (former, when she could have ice cream) I-only-order-chocolate-chip-ice-cream-when-at-an-ice-cream-shoppe-because-while-I-might-like-another-flavor,-I-KNOW-I-love-chocolate-chip-and-I’m-not-guaranteed-to-like-another-flavor-as-well-as-I-like-chocolate-chip-so-since-I’m-spending-money-on-ice-cream-I’ll-get-what-I-KNOW-I-like habitual girl needs to grow and expand, I’ve decided to simply make myself write down every book that I read this year. No crazy, “I must read 50 new books this year!” goal…simply writing down every book I read. Can I read old books? Sure, but I’m looking for new and different books to read. In writing them down, I’ll have a better track of what I am doing, and Lord willing, by the end of the year, I’ll have a new habit of reading new material in with the old, *and* I’ll have the enrichment of the new books…for as Finnian Jones of Lamplighter Theatre so wisely quoted (apparently from Charles Tremendous Jones), “My boy, in five years, you’ll be the same man as you were with the exception of the people you meet and the books you read.” And I need to read some new books.
I am also working on my finances…specifically, I am only permitting myself buying one book over the internet per month, which has already proven helpful for things that I feel I ‘need’. And, I’ve borrowed a book or two and reading online, and had one given to me for Christmas…so really, I’ve got several on which I’m working at once, *and* haven’t been wasteful with money, either. Hooray!
Without further ado, here is the 2012 list, in progress.- Rhett Butler’s People by Donald McCraig (gift from my Aunt Patty) READING
This GWTW freak has been sneaking in a chapter here & there in stores & online ever since it came out…SO excited to read it.
- Sleep It Does a Family Good by Dr. Archibald Hart (internet book purchase of the month) READING
Dr. Hart has written a great deal about adrenal issues, stress and the like and I became acquainted with his works over the past five years due to my situation, and they’ve all been excellent and helpful. One day over Christmas Break, I heard the Mid-Day Connection girls discussing this book and knew I had to get it. Sleep is another issue that I plan to write about on here I’ll probably be reporting from this book, which I expect to be an important tool in changing some things.
- Through My Eyes by Tim Tebow (school library book) READING
Yes. I am reading it. Yes. I am enjoying it. Yes. I’ve been challenged by it. Yes. My kiddos are reading it, too. Any other questions? Hehhehe…seriously, I have been both blessed and challenged by a fellow sibling writing truth, and have really, really appreciated it, as well as love the opportunities for discussion with the kids so far as they, too, are reading it.
- The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis (own) READING
I’m reading it aloud to my Dad and my Grandma for entertainment on Winter Evenings. They’ve not read it and wouldn’t, just by themselves. I love reading aloud to people. We’re having a blast.
(And yes, this is one of the books I’ve read into the hundreds of times. I have large chunks of it memorized, without even trying.)- Bloodlines by Dr. John Piper READING
This book is available through a link here FOR FREE, online. Get it. Read it. I know that I need to. So do you. And you will be blessed, I promise you.
- 2008 Rand McNally Road Atlas READING
No, I’m not kidding. It’s AMAZING what you learn by looking at maps! And no, I won’t read every single letter that’s on every single page. But I pick it up two or three times per day (you can figure out where/when) and am making my way through it. It’s fascinating, as Atlases are.
- The Bible READING
This is yet-another bad habit confession, but I have never, to my knowledge, read through every single word in the Bible. Perhaps I have, over years of study, etc., but never with full knowledge or intention. This year, by God’s grace, I am reading aloud five chapters each day, although, when I get into Psalm 119, Isaiah and Luke, I may end up with just three chapters per day, but either way, whether I finish ‘on time’ or not, my goal is to not miss a day of reading, and to read from start to finish. ”Thus far the LORD has helped us.” Ebenezer. I Samuel 7:12
It is my intention to update this list both a.) when I add a new book and b.) when I finish a book. So right there, are probably more updates on Xanga than were in the past two years, combined.
We’ll see.I have several other habits/patterns on which God is working with me, and as I mentioned, I want to keep those up & running, so I’ll probably have a few more ‘bigger-picture’-type posts. I don’t have THE Big Picture Answers all in place as well as I’d like, but any good puzzler will tell you, if you put the little pieces together, you’ll get the big picture, sooner or later, and so I leave you today with these pieces of the whole, and my prayer that you, as well as I, will obey God in each little piece that He sets before us today.
Love,
Deborah
