October 2, 2011
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Thoughts Upon October…
Today is a gorgeous Sunday Morning, the Lord’s Day…the Second of October, and my Grandma Yardlay’s birthday. She is celebrating in Heaven this year again, if they celebrate earthly birthdays There…and on Wednesday, Uncle Ed will celebrate his birthday There, as well. This Saturday, it will have been eleven years from the day he (so unexpectedly to us) arrived There.
I don’t know if it is the blend of gorgeousness and wistful aches that is October (my dear friend from childhood died on the 19th the year I was in 5th grade), the near frost we had last night, the continuing and heading-towards-wrapping-up study of Revelation, the recent death of a friend, or the brilliant sunshine after days of clouds and the rainiest September on record (and third by four hundredths of an inch, rainiest month on record, ever), or the hot tea, the songs on the radio of being still, of looking forward to seeing Jesus face to face, of the joy of my sins being paid and the hope that I have, or what, but I find myself thinking with longing even more sharply poignantly than usual, of Being Home, of the world finally being right again and of the joy of arriving in “the Place where everything is allowed”, where “you have no idea how good an old joke sounds when you take it out after a rest of 500 years”, where “there is no longer any curse…they shall see His face and God, Himself, will be with them and will be their God.”
I miss Grandma Yardlay’s laughter. I miss her encouragement of me and love for me. I miss her compliments on what I was wearing and her fabulous ability to share clothing with me, even though fifty years and four inches in height were between us. I miss the influence she held. I miss Uncle Ed’s stories. I miss discussing things with him. I miss learning at least twenty new things every time I spoke with him and I miss hearing first-hand stories of the work that God was doing ’round the world from him. Uncle Bob died last October. I miss laughing, always laughing, with him and I miss feeling fully loved, honored, respected and valued by him. I miss laughing and teasing with my Grandpa, who is not always able to do and think the way he used to be able to do and think. And, if I’m being honest, I think I struggle with these things a little more than I might, because I, personally, don’t have anyone coming behind me to continue on the work and the stories and the legacies that each of these Dear Ones continued from those they’d received them, and I’m 13 hours away from the closest progeny.
And yet, while this is beginning to sound horribly maudlin and as gray and rainy as September has been, I have to pull it to a halt and be truthful and say that I’m really, if I’m accurate in my thinking and understanding, less maudlin, and rather more wistful. Less gloomy and more antsy–longing and chafing at the bit. Don’t go extreme on me–I’m not planning to leave any time before God says, “Come!”, but the moment He calls, I want to be fully ready to answer, and to not delay. And that is a good and exciting thing. I used to not be able to say, “Even so, Come! Lord Jesus!” There were too many things I wanted to ‘do’ first. I say it with much fervor, now. Does God still have work for me to do here? Clearly! I’m still here.
And yet…one of the clarion calls of October in my heart always resonates with a resounding call to Home. And that is not a bad thing.I promise–I’m not any sorts of sad…I love thinking of Grandma Yardlay on her birthday, and remembering the rich heritage and legacy she’s left for her children and grandchildren and beyond. I get even more excited thinking about her perfect, no-longer-sin-bound, no-longer-disease-bound, no-longer-limited-by-anything self, enjoying the glories of seeing Jesus face to face, the splendours of Heaven, the wonderfulness of seeing those who also went before, and of getting a that-side-view of the anticipation for when The Carpenter’s Son finally finishes all those mansions and His Father tells Him that it’s time to get His whole Bride together and bring her Home to be with Him. It is definitely a day, a week, a month of Joy. There is even an anticipation of all that God is doing here on earth–so many different things and ways that I see His work still happening, knowing that He is continuing to execute His perfect will and accomplish His works, even in the midst of a creation groaning under the curse of sin, awaiting its deliverance.
It’s just that all these emotions blended together make for an interesting swirl…and with so many dates so specifically attached to so many loved people, I’m perhaps a little more reflective and purposeful of thoughts and actions than perhaps I am at other times. And that, I think, is a good thing. Oh may I at all times live in the light of God’s great redemption of my soul, His hope and joy that are real and the work He has established for my hands until the day He calls me Home…only by His faithful grace.
Of course, Miss Crosby had fabulous words for it…
When my life work is ended, and I cross the swelling tide,
When the bright and glorious morning I shall see;
I shall know my Redeemer when I reach the other side,
And His smile will be the first to welcome me!I shall know Him, I shall know Him,
And redeemed by His side I shall stand,
I shall know Him, I shall know Him,
By the print of the nails in His hand!Oh, the soul thrilling rapture when I view His blessèd face,
And the luster of His kindly beaming eye;
How my full heart will praise Him for the mercy, love and grace,
That prepare for me a mansion in the sky!Oh, the dear ones in glory, how they beckon me to come,
And our parting at the river I recall;
To the sweet vales of Eden they will sing my welcome home;
But I long to meet my Savior first of all!Through the gates to the city in a robe of spotless white,
He will lead me where no tears will ever fall;
In the glad song of ages I shall mingle with delight;
But I long to meet my Savior first of all!I shall know Him, I shall know Him,
And redeemed by His side I shall stand,
I shall know Him, I shall know Him,
By the print of the nails in His hand!
