It was a beautiful night.

The humidity dropped during the day.  The sun came out.  The wind picked up pace and scuttled clouds across the sky that were shadowed on the fields.  By the time we were heading towards sunset, the clouds had blown off to the southeast and the sky was clear.  The wind remained steady, however.  Not terribly strong, but steady.  Enough to make one glad for a sweatshirt.  The world is still ninety percent green, but it is an old green, September green, and yellows, browns, reds and oranges have already begun to creep in, even if few were visible tonight.

The crickets were making music in full chorus about the clearing.  The wind was strong enough to keep the smoke blowing in an easterly direction, but not so strong as to carry away the symphony of the crickets, cicadas and tree frogs.  The waxing moon, now past half, became clearer by the moment in the southern sky.  A brilliant planet, Saturn, if I were guessing, but more probably Venus, was trajectoried in a perfect setting to its east, a diamond next to a platinum disc of purely reflected beams.

The bonfire was crackling.  You could hear the laughter about it as first one hot dog, and then, another, and yet still another was burnt off its stick and fell into the flame.  The Little Mister happily filled the bottom of his stroller with pulled pieces of grass.  Chairs were moved closer, for warmth, and then back again, when satiated with heat, and then closer once more as the breeze refused to allow the temperature to stay at ‘cozy’ too far from the fire.

As the blue of the sky grew deeper and the golden glow in the west faded to sunsets remembered, the chairs drew closer to the circle for good.  The Little Mister, after a brief protest, snuggled down to sleep in his father’s arms, cozily tucked in with his favorite blanket.  Hearts were opened.  Lives were shared…joys, celebrations of God’s faithfulness, and there were many, hurts, concerns, pleadings for wisdom…the threads that make up the fabrics of our lives were interwoven one hour further.

And then, prayer.  Walking into the halls of Heaven, kneeling before the Throne of the King, falling before the feet of our Father…in praise.  In worship.  In petition.  In thanksgiving.  In supplication.  In confidence.  In trust.  Tears shed for the hurt of dear friends, for the ache that is ours while we linger on this sin-cursed planet, where the Valley of the Shadow of Death is given just a few more days to haunt our steps.  Tears for the piercing pleasure that we have in the Hope of the Resurrection, celebrated this Lord’s Day, and the hours we count down awaiting its final fulfillment, when the trumpet shall sound and the dead in Christ will rise and we will be changed in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye.

Part of the beauty was in the crackling fire that began simmering its way to coals while we spent time at the Throne of Grace.  Part of the beauty was in the cool crispness of the air that made the fire that much more enjoyable.  Part of the beauty was in the moonlit starshine that punctuated the God-design of the crickets and wind and grasses and flame and trees and sky that all bespoke their Creator.

But the real beauty, the beauty that I carried home with me, tucked away in my heart as a memory imprinted on my soul was the beauty of all that as merely the setting–the backdrop of loveliness that so well displayed the love of people for their God and for their family…the family that was there, and the family that was far, but made family, whatever the distance, not so much by thinly stretched human blood, but by a blood-stained, lonely, Roman Cross of execution and an empty Jewish Tomb of victory.

Around the flickering light, we met as family, coming before our Father in prayer, not only for ourselves, but for the family that is away for now, but one Day will be by the fire, together, or perhaps underneath the Tree of Life, together, or perhaps splashing on the banks of the River of the Water of Life, Clear as Crystal, together, or perhaps exploring the gorgeousness of the jeweled foundations of the New Jerusalem, together.  The family that is bound by the ties of our Father, with love and thankfulness for His great mercies on our lives–for the forgiveness of sin and for so much more.  “I have come that you might have life, and that you might have it to the full.” John 10:10.

I was given a glimpse of that life tonight around the fire with those I love and who love me.  It was beautiful.  It is a beautiful thing to love and to be loved and to belong to such a family.  Yet even that…wonderful as it was, was incomplete.  Imperfect.  Thinking about the fact that one we’ve long loved will any time now be in the presence of Life, Himself, before we get to be there, has me eagerly awaiting the time when the promise of the evening will be fully fulfilled.  Completely completed.  Life.  To the full.

In the meantime…

“So until the day the trumpet rings in my ear, bid me to come and I will follow.”

“Therefore my beloved brethren, be ye steadfast, unmoving, always abounding in the work of the Lord, for you know that your labor is not in vain in the Lord!” I Corinthians 15:58

It was a beautiful night.

In looking back on the Ninth month of the Ninth year of the approximately assumed Seventh millennium, it will be an eclectic recollection, for certain–it’s not exactly as though I’ve been bored…or doing the same interesting thing all the time, either.  In the past month and a half of time since I’ve posted it’s been full, for certain!

• Daniel and Kristin are married
• School has started
• I’ve enjoyed stacks of salad-y things from the garden
• The house is back to the ‘two felines to one human’ ratio
• The house has not yet recovered from the wedding
• I have not yet recovered from the wedding
• That is largely due to school and to the fact that I have had two evenings at home since the wedding–last night and on Tuesday
• I’m still working through the latter stages of yesterday’s migraine
• I’m excited about the next couple of weeks and months
• My cats seriously miss human contact
• This means they maul me (sans claws, thankfully) upon my arrival in the house to sleep
  
• I’m struggling with several elements of adrenal fatigue
• Being home more and being purposeful about rest would help with that
• The weather has been *gorgeous*!
• I found another way to do my hair that I really like
  
• I’ve purchased at least half of my Christmas presents
• I haven’t wrapped any, however
  
• I’m *really* enjoying the Buckeyes (and football) happening
• I’m planning to cook nearly all of my breakfasts, lunches and dinners for next week, today, as I have conferences all night Monday and Tuesday, Prayer Meeting Wednesday and another jewelry dealeo on Thursday
• As of Thursday, I will have been to three Premier Designs Jewelry Parties in three weeks.  I am not kidding.  I may as well begin selling the stuff so I actually walk home WITH cash, instead of without it!
• I have stacks of ideas in my head of projects and studies and activities that I want to be doing–I stand by my assertion that I could not have a ‘job’ for ten years and never once be bored
• While that is true, I *must* state that it has been a good beginning to the school year that I have enjoyed much and for which I have been so thankful!
  
• For some reason (related to the migraine?) sleep has not worked yesterday/today for me–that’s my usual sure-fire way to be rid of it
• In spite of that, it’s been a lovely and productive morning…and I’m looking forward to being home for the rest of the day and seeing it continue
• In spite of that, I’m still torn because there are several good things going on today of which I would really love to be a part
• Obviously, I’m still struggling to figure out what healthy living looks like–can anyone tell me just why do I have such difficulty with such important, reasonable and presumably commonsensical things?
• My poor, dear, dependable, hardworking, six-year-old laptop is attempting to breathe its last–of the two hinges that connect the screen to the keyboard, the right-handed one has completely detached.  I’m not completely sure how I’m able to type this and see it, but I’m thankful, none-the-less
• I’m hoping to post-pone the purchase of a new computer until after I have gotten my second house mortgage paid off and have the cash to do so without issue
• This will probably not be until next August
• I am super-psycho excited to have the second mortgage paid off (80/20–the 20).  Not only does it mean that 20% of my house is paid off but that I’ll be able to use that $250 per month for saving and for paying down the 80% mortgage!
  
• Mom has had a RECORD year at garage sales
• That is an entirely different post
• One result of her record garage sale-ing is that I’m hoping to use an ‘interim laptop’ with twice the hard drive (60 gig) of mine (30 gig) and most of the rest of the same features
• I’m *quite* thankful for that option!
• I’m working on a study of Revelation
• It sometimes feels overwhelming, but it’s incredible, none-the-less
  
• I had lots that I wanted to say on here
• That was before the migraine
• I think I’ve managed to say more than enough anyways
• Of course, I have stacks of pictures that I would love to share
• Of course, the computer always takes hours to upload them…so I end up sharing very few
• Perhaps this is not always a bad thing
  
• This isn’t a very deep post…but it’s where I am…in somewhat of survival mode…attempting to walk out of what could become several deep holes if I’m not vigilant, one step at a time
• Keeping walking and not sitting down and falling into a hole feels really good
  
• In spite of the ‘feels like it could go either way’, I have enjoyed walking with God over the past month or two.  I feel like it has been a ‘good time with the two of us’, if I can say that in a way that doesn’t take away from His God-ness.   It’s also helped with the ‘not freaking, keep walking’ motif
• I was o. ver. whelmed. at people’s love and kindness towards me surrounding the wedding.  SO blessed am I!
• I hope you are doing well
• I have kept up with a few people over the past month, but I have also found that when life goes nuts, something has to give and the internet is one area able to ‘give’ more so than other areas
• I’m looking forward to reading back through some things to see what I’ve missed, and I really like that I have online friends that I can pop in and catch up on what’s important to them even if I’ve been gone
  
• This was way too long about eighteen minutes ago
• If you’ve made it this far, give yourself a hug and a healthy smoothie for some lovin’ and a reward
• Have a *wonderful* weekend
• Know that I am praying for you

Of course,
Deborah

Yes, I’ve been talking a lot about pictures lately.  On Sunday, I figure I took at least 1500.  No, I didn’t accidentally type an extra zero.  Thankfully, my camera has a setting on it that will take five pictures as I continue to hold down the shutter button, which comes in *terrifically* when I have kiddos moving around or when my camera, a Panasonic Lumix DMC-FZ30 that the seller on ebay (where I *did* get it for $650 off retail pricing) failed to disclose the facts that 1.) it was Refurbished and 2.) it ‘freezes up’ when it (ironically) overheats.  Literally.  With the whole ‘five pictures of one event thing, I then, go back over alllllll the pictures taken, deletes the unusable and proceed.  Anyways, that allows me to hopefully get some good pictures…and I did, especially on Sunday.

The first set of pictures on Sunday were of ShillVester and I, and then of The Little Mister.  They were lots of fun and turned out well, if I do say so myself.  The second set were of Daniel and Kristin, as they’re preparing for their wedding, and as I owe Daniel quite a whole lot, particularly when it comes to houses, I took a set of pictures for their engagement.  In spite of some *major* fritz from the camera, I was thankful to find that we did get some nice pictures.  They’re on my facebook if you wish to view them.

What this all means, however, is that my camera is back and I can simply have it available for *any* picturetaking…which also means pictures of the garden.

I was out watering this morning and God convicted me in regards to living in the moment.  This has been my first year to garden…and I’ve loved it.  I’ve been SO thankful for the therapudic elements of it, for the fun of it, and not the least of all, for the good food and definitive beauty of it.  And yet…human that I am, almost *all* I’ve been thinking about is “Next year!”  “Next year!”  “Next year!”  “Next year I’ll know better what to do!”  “Next year I’ll start my garden in the dining room MARCH FIRST!”  “Next year I’ll have fabulous compost up & running!”  “Next year I’ll dig up the rest of the yard!”  “Next year my garden will do so much better than this year and I’ll enjoy it so much more!”  Danger.  Definitive danger.

James talks about that–in chapter four, “Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil. Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn’t do it, sins.”  Or how about Paul?  And learning to be content whatever the circumstances?  And then, my friend Melissa posted information on how she and her husband lost all their tomatoes in their garden and possibly their potatoes to weather and insect related problems.  And at that point, God gently but clearly reminded me that I alive today because He has work for me to do, and I need to live, today.  Or, as Mr. Elliot so eloquently stated, “Wherever you are, be all there!”

I am so thankful to get the opportunity to learn at home, in my own garden…and I am so thankful for the gentle reminder that I am not to tackle tomorrow–I am simply to walk in joyful obedience today.  And for that time in the garden, at least, I did…and was glad.

P.S.  Pictures of the edible parts of the garden to follow soon.

Poppies!!

If I were a bee, I can think of few happier places to pass a morning than in a gigantic pumpkin blossom.

Sam & Steph’s beautiful purple clematis.

I planted a ‘shade mix’ behind my impatiens.  The impatiens blossomed, bloomed & took over.  The shade mix remained undeterred and pushed up through the impatiens.  This is one stubborn, beautiful piece of sunshine.

Another piece of ‘shade mix’ sunshine.  This one is temporarily home to a green-fly-looking-thingy.

Another beautiful sunflower, not of the ‘typical’ variety.

One of the beautiful, true blue flower that grows like a weed…and it just may be…but it’s beautiful!

 
Sunflowers!

Two beds of shade mix and impatiens…so fun!

I am SO not saying that my pictures are glory.  I do think God’s creation is, whether plant or bumblebee.  And to make me long a little bit more, in Heaven, sunflowers won’t be e a t e n by silly Japanese Beetles (a la the bottom of the picture.  I had to spray the creature off with the garden hose).  And pictures are to come…but I should have been in bed three hours ago, not messing with pictures.  You at least get one of my first TALL (10 feet, at least) sunflowers.  It’s not your typical sunflower…but then I am not your typical girl, either.

Happy August from the Busy as a Bee, Seeking One (a.k.a. Deborah)!

Yahoojalujah!!!

I have a camera again!

For real.  Pictures to follow.

I once read in a ‘blog rules’ post on someone’s blog that one who blogs should not often use the word ‘various’.  Hence, my title.  No, I did not use the thesaurus (or other reference work) to find that word.  I used Eugene.

I have about eighteen different topics floating around in my brain for writing just now.  Don’t worry, Megan, I’m not going to write on all eighteen…probably not even two of them.   But it’s making for some difficulty at present.

I *want* to write all about my garden, about how much of a failure it is as a garden, but how much of a success it is as progress towards healthiness (both personally, and in regards to food), towards beauty, towards stewardship, towards calmness and towards next year.  I’ve already purchased some books about which I’m *quite* excited…and on my to-do list this week includes the entry “Buy the supplies and build a compost bin”.  We’ll see how that goes.

I *want* to take pictures to show you a thousand things that have caught my eye.  My camera battery charger has been missing upwards of a month now.  I’m seriously bummed.

I *want* (and started) to write about how selfishness steals away our joy so rapidly and that forty-five seconds of selfishness can ring up a three-and-a-half hours’ difficulty of a bill.

I *want* to delve into the many ways in which a lack of taking care of issues right away can create havoc for years and years to come in so many ways and the urgency of doing right, the first time, and making things right as soon as possible when wrong has been done.

I *want* to say how vividly challenged I was by this piece by Old Hat that is something I’ve always known, and something I’ve even much lived in many ways…and yet something that hit me between the eyes right now.

I *want* to figure out more of what my life looks like living with adrenal fatigue, and how I can live it well, fully and healthily.

I *want* to record some of the lessons I’ve been learning of late and point out how learning from others can be a.) so rewarding and b.) so practical and c.) so less painful than having to learn it oneself…and how that seems to be something of which it is impossible to convince people!

I *want* to contemplate what trust looks like in the face of no answers and come out with written evidence that I do…and that it is worth it.

I *want* to have down in black and white (or black and green) that by God’s grace I am going to accomplish what is necessary in the exactly one month before the students arrive and the month and two weeks beyond that for the wedding.

That is nine of eighteen different topics.  Instead, as God is willing, I’m going to get a move on, and perhaps come back and visit some of them, perhaps not.  I’m going to pray and sort amongst the important and the urgent.  I’m going to get a bite to eat and then I’m going to leave *early* for Next Phase.  I really like being early for things.   I’m going to be thankful that a.) I have hair, b.) my hair didn’t go fully fuzz today, and that c.) water weight, skin, scratching or no, I like how I look in my black shift dress with the white, stitched flowers, new, 50% clearance white cardigan and new, 60% clearance cute black shoes (the first black shoes (other than the strappy sandals for a wedding) that I’ve ever purchased).  God is good, I am blessed, and to whom much is given, much shall be required.

With an adjusted perspective…
~Deborah

• Awaken via Courtney’s phone call
• Say verses with Courtney
• Read the news…local, national, international
• Check Facebook
• Eat breakfast
• Discuss news with sister-in-law-to-be Kristin
• Clean up after sick cat
• Again
• And again
• Hope cat is finished being sick
• Farewell Kristin for her day of painting
• Put out the flag
  
• Put out cat trash for pick-up
  
• Re-fix cat trash box
  
• Go on man cat-hunt to murder cat that decided to use the exact moment of my taking out the cat trash to do her business in the house
• Revive cat after murder
• Do Bible study
• Read Ecclesiastes 8:4-6
• Conclude that that is my goal–to follow through with the proper time and procedure for every matter today, no matter how much misery is weighing heavily upon me (and I can’t honestly think of *any* misery I have)
  
• Make Cinnamon Iced Tea
• Drink 20 ounces of water
• Sweep living room rug
• Sweep down ottoman
• Sweep down large couch, couch cushions, couch pillows, rotate couch cushions
• Decide that more will be accomplished if I write things down as I go
• Get on xanga and begin my ‘To-Do, To-Day’ list
• Watch powerful Piper video on Prosperity Gospel
• Get convicted to get back to my goal of following through with the proper time and procedure for every matter
• Get offline
• Get back to work
• Updates to come…
• And now, as of 1:14 post meridian…
• Add dishes to the dishwasher
  
• Eat chicken
• Drink 20 ounces of iced tea
• Clean out the closet floor
• Take care of last clean load of laundry
• Add to mounting laundry pile in hallway
• Drink 20 ounces of water
• Eat grapes
• Check news
• Send a present to a friend
• Update my list here
• Pet cat
• Drink 20 ounces of iced tea
• Get offline
• Get back to work
• Updates to come…
• And now, as of 2:46 post meridian…
• Drink 20 ounces of water
• Clear out stuff stacked in bedroom
• Deposit stuff in office
• Windex iron headboard
• Put on “Darkness Before Dawn“
• Throw things away
• Windex bathroom sink
• Prepare bedroom for sweeping
• Retrieve Recycle Bin
• Recycle items from bedroom
• Get rid of fly
• Take apple cider vinegar, oils and vitamins
• Wash down apple cider vinegar with Cinnamon Iced Tea
  
• Watch Scout get rid of another fly
• Get eggshells together for compost pile
• Take care of items on counter top
• Eat cashews
• Pay online bill
• Read the fact that Katie read & enjoyed my to-do list
  
• Get offline
• Get back to work
• Updates to come…
• And at 3:15 post meridian…
• Clean up after sick cat again
• Lock sick cat in the bathroom
• Feel bad for sick cat, but not enough to let her out to puke again
• Get offline
• Get back to work
• Updates to come…

Okay…so I updated on everything accomplished after 3:15 pm and for some reason xanga deleted it?  That’ll punch a hole in the enthusiasm balloon. *rolled eyes*  Anyways…I got stacks of things further finished…although there’s still quite a bit more to go.  Perhaps I’ll update tomorrow…after I’m unpeeved at xanga for deleting my content after I push ‘save changes’. *sigh*

It has been a good day and I’m so very thankful to see such necessary progress around here!  With the wedding coming up, (at the beginning of the school year, no less) there is so much that I want to focus on and the house is not included in that number.  Therefore, gettting it ship-shape now will make it all-the-easier to stay that way then…hence, the accomplishment goals.

I’m headed to a good night’s sleep now, since ‘in vain you rise early and stay up late toiling for food to eat, for the Lord grants sleep to those He loves.’ (Psalm 127:2)  I’m loved, I’m thankful, and I’m headed to sleep!

Thanks for progressing through the day with me!
Deborah

P.S.  Happy 07-08-09 Day!  Early this morning, it was 12:34:56 07/08/09

Some definitive praises…

• My eyesight has returned to normal as far as I can tell (normal for me, at least!)
• I no longer taste bleach when I cough
• Roto-Rooter came out and cleaned out the pipes in less than an hour and we are back to working water again
• I got to sleep before midnight
• I awakened at a good hour this morning and have accomplished STACKS of things today
• I am looking forward to the rest of the summer
• I am trusting God for the financial unknowns of present
• I can see my office floor
• The air conditioning is on outside yesterday, today and tomorrow (in the 70s!)
• I might get to see my sister this weekend!!!
  

In regards to my last post, (not in response to it) Randy Alcorn wrote the following quote on his facebook status.  I thought it was a good one.

Speaking of fruit, I have some garden pictures coming.  I know.  You’re waiting with baited breath.   But I’m excited about them.

Praying to abide, both for myself and you…
Deborah

I am not at church right now.  Normally at 11:54 on a Sunday morning, I would be finishing up class with the kiddos in anticipation of some chat time after church and heading to Grandma’s for lunch.  Instead, I am sitting here under the fan in the kitchen, having awakened after a three hour nap, thankful beyond words that I can (reasonably) see the screen to type.

You may remember this post of last summer when I referenced the fact that I had had to throw out some things that had gotten beyond moldy and ruined when raw sewage had poured into my basement.  God was gently teaching me some lessons and I was so very thankful that He was teaching me gently.  The basis of that story is in this excerpt:

Last September [of '07], an unnamed, highly frustrating local company came to tend to the drains in my basement and against my warning flooded the basement.  With raw sewage water.  And wanted to charge me extra to help clean it up.  I still struggle with the injustice of that at times.  ShillVester, the dear, spent an entire 9 hours in a non-aerated basement filled with undiluted bleach frying brain cells and helping me bleach-clean the basement where the sewage had gone.

When I had called the unnamed, local company to (very) politely register my complaint, I was apparently a little too polite.  The woman at the company then asked me when I wanted to schedule a follow up visit.  I was completely flummoxed.  I was seething.  I had no intention either side of my house drowning in sewage of ever having that company near my property again.  I still glared at their trucks when I saw them on the road.  I politely told the woman at the company that I did not wish to schedule a follow-up/maintenance visit at that time, and probably as far as she is concerned, I will call them back if ever I have a need.

Tuesday night at approximately 11:30 pm, I found raw sewage in the basement, this time, in both large pieces and in small pieces that had flooded the floor.  I had absolutely no means of dealing with the situation in any way at 11:30 pm so I shut the door and went to bed.  Over the past year, I have lacked the ability to deal with things as immediately as I used to and so the door stayed shut (and water was used sparingly) until Saturday.  I *had* to take care of the situation, but remembering 9 hours in a non-aerated basement filled with undiluted bleach frying brain cells provoked not a little loathing anticipating the rectifying of the situation.  I also determined that the place would be clean before a different plumbing company arrived and that they would not be permitted to flood the place ‘just to see where the problem is’.

Having gotten so terribly sick the last time (I was sick respiratorily for two weeks from the bleach), I wanted things to be different.  I planned to ‘bomb’ the basement with 360 fluid ounces of bleach and then almost immediately set to rinsing all the bleach down the drain, a sort of ‘increased intensity for increased speed of results and decreased time spent in the basement’ idea.

First off, I had no idea that the military considered 5% bleach solution to be effective for disinfecting things.  Secondly, I had forgotten that bleach starts off with less intensity and then has a straight-up-the-chart growth to ‘impossible to breathe’ in a very short time.  Thirdly, I don’t even remember my eyes really being affected last time.  Fourthly, I even had a cloth tied over my face through which to breathe.

You know where this is going.  Suffice it to say that after showering last night and still being unable to see (no, I didn’t get bleach IN my eyes and I was only down there (and back up for breathing/choking episodes) for two hours) and even now still having fuzzy edges around everything, choking and wheezing for twelve hours, experiencing over fifty body-wracking sneezes I have concluded several things.

• Number one, I will be doing preventative tree-root clean-outs on the drains and pipes of the house on a strict schedule.
• Number two, I will never be in the basement with unlimited quantities of bleach again.
• Number three, I believe that bleach is dangerous and affecting.  The utter irony of this fact is that I’ve (had to) become Miss Natural on just about everything and yet here I am, suffering the after effects of bleach poisoning of all things.  (And yet, I don’t know what else I would have done, when there are little red worms crawling out of sewage material in one’s basement–I want those sorts of things and their germs and their mold killed.  Don’t have a full answer for that one yet, which brings me to number four.)
  
• Number four, I don’t care what it takes, there will be nothing in my basement that is not in a rubbermaid/sterlite container.
• Number five, it is not okay to hang onto anger, period, even if it was a person I don’t know or a business that ‘did me wrong’.  That is just wrong on SO many levels and SO not worth it from a human standpoint, not to even mention the more important God standpoint.
• Number six, I appreciate my eyesight and my breathing abilities all the much more than I did yesterday at this time, and realize that I’m going to have to be more purposeful about thinking things through more thoroughly before I go off and just do, even if it has a good or necessary accomplishment.
• Number seven, I am so thankful beyond words for the grace and mercy of God!  His mercy in helping me to feel even a bit better now and to (hopefully) not have long-term physical consequences of what was an unintentionally dumb decision in trying to ‘fix things’ and His grace in extending forgiveness to me even though I’d held onto anger at the other company and forgiving me while sitting in my bedroom at 2 o’clock this morning when I saw so clearly what I had done and needed His forgiveness.

I said to someone this year in all seriousness, “I honestly thought growing up, and even into my twenties that I’d be done doing stupid things by the time I was thirty.”  It has been highly disillusioning, in one sense to look at my life and think, “That was just dumb, there is no way around it,” about one decision or another.  And yet, two years into my fourth decade on this planet, I’ve come to the conclusion that sanctification and even being less stupid is something that won’t fully be accomplished until I’m Home. *sigh*

That’s burdensome, on one level, and yet anytime something is honestly stated, refreshing on another.  It means that when it *does* happen that I do something stupid, there’s no point in being devastated and demoralized by it.  It means learn from it, for goodness’ sake, but go on, and don’t stay stuck on stupid.  It also just makes me more and more thankful for verses like “Being confident of this, that He Who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” ~Philippians 1:6 and “May God Himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The One Who calls you is faithful and He will do it.” ~I Thessalonians 5:23-24

No, those aren’t lessons I learned at church today…but thank God that He is willing to teach (and extend mercy and grace and forgive) me anywhere.  God, give me the grace to learn, and learn well.  “The wise in heart accept commands, but a chattering fool comes to ruin.” Proverbs 10:8

Happy Sunday!