June 25, 2009

  • Instant Gratification

    I think I’m more of a product of my culture than I would have speculated.   For someone who says that she is serious about the long-term, and living for eternity, not now, teaching would seem to be an excellent career.  You don’t get much more long-term career vantage points unless you’re looking into kingship or undertaking or something along those lines.  I’ve never yet had a sixth grader thank me for the work I’m doing for them and I don’t expect one to in the next twenty-five years (how *weird* that I’ve taught ten full years already…yikes!).  And yet, putting forth effort and feeling as though the results are minimal can be discouraging, on bleak, rainy, cold, late February days when it seems as though it’s going to be bleak, rainy and cold for forever.

    I think that’s why I’m enjoying myself so much this summer.  Part of ‘Doctor’s Orders’ in regards to a failed adrenal system is rest, and lots of it.  Good rest.  Before 10 o’clock p.m. rest.  Another part of ‘Doctor’s Orders’ is a lack of anything that gets the adrenal system kicking in adrenaline.  This year, for the first time in *many* years of having the desire, I have a garden!  Diana had a garden a couple of years ago of cucumbers and tomatoes.  That was back before such things as vegetables were on my ‘edible’ list and while I thought it was kind of cool to see food in the yard that we hadn’t paid for and hadn’t stolen (no, I’ve not done that!), that was about all it meant to me.

    In my quest for such things as profitability, rest, frugality and hunger, and now that such things as fruits and vegetables have not only entered but taken over my vocabulary, the garden is up and going in the back yard.  Sans back yard (as it takes, literally, 15 minutes to mow the ENTIRE yard, and that includes getting the mower out, putting it away and going down over the rock wall to mow the curb strip) the garden has been planted along the fence rows and the garage.  And I am VERY excited.  Spading up tens of square feet of earth is hot, dirty, wonderful work.  Planting, watering and weeding seeds is fingernail-ruining, skin screwing and satisfying activity.  When, a short time later, cute little jalapeno peppers, darling little grape tomatoes and the sprouts of baby’s breath and corn begin to appear, that whole concept of instant gratification takes a new meaning.

    I suppose there is irony in proclaiming ‘gardening’ a thing of instant gratification–most would probably say that it is the utter antithesis to our fast-food world.  And yet, compared to teaching, I am seeing nearly ‘instant’ results and although I may be covered in dirt, grime and broken-open skin at present, in a few short weeks, God willing, I will get to not only see, but smell, taste and feel the results of the work.  And that is a beautifully satisfying and encouraging thing, indeed.

    I haven’t pictures of the garden just yet.  I do, however, have pictures of the springtime flowers…so I’m going to post those just now and post garden pictures as I can.


    One of my favorite times of year…when I look out the Library windows to see ‘curtains and fountains’ of dancing flower petals.

    I splashes of color!

    This little guy has changed shape and style each year!

    Have I mentioned I love color??



    You are always welcome at Fidelicharis House!

    A man can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, for without Him, who can eat or find enjoyment?  Ecclesiastes 2:24-25

June 23, 2009

  • Returning

    I think I’m returning.  I’ve been away (obviously!) for quite awhile.  It’s going to take some time to get reacclimated, but I intend to make the rounds here in this next week.  I have wondered what’s been happening in your lives of late, but it was just too much to keep up on here and with the rest of life at the same time.  Perhaps some day I’ll be together enough of a person to be able to manage everything, but that is obviously not today.  School is out now (rejoicing!) and I’m packing my bags to return to the human race.  I’ll send a post card (thank you, Dear Old Hat!) when I arrive.  In the meantime, know that you’ve been missed and you’ll probably see my footprints tracking up your sites in the days and weeks ahead.

    As promised, here are the ‘pictures to follow’ (from back in March!)


    Miss Autumn Reilly Marguerite ‘Scout’ing the neighborhood felines.


    Ellie Grace keeping an eye on things, enjoying the Spring sunshine.


    The first crocus of the season, pushing up through last fall’s foliage.


    The approach of more croci!


    Clusters!


    Lavender loveliness.


    Spring sprung!

    One afternoon after school, I was out taking my daily ‘update pictures’ and the mailman came up behind me as I was lying on the ground to get the pictures I wanted.  He was a little confused until he saw the camera.

March 10, 2009

  • Gasp!

    Forget the calendar, forget the robins, today, the first crocus of Spring peeked it’s sweet, orange head up through the stripey green leaves ensconcing it about, in beautiful harmony with the seventy-four degree temperatures.  Tomorrow’s high is forty, but I don’t care!   The croci (it’s not focuses, but foci! not cactuses, but cacti! ) are coming, the calendar marches forth, the equinox has almost arrived, the moon is full and Spring soon will have sprung.  Summer’s Herald is nearly here!

    Pictures to follow…
    !

March 7, 2009

  • How deep the Father’s love for us
    How vast beyond all measure
    That He should give His only Son
    To make a wretch His treasure

    How great the pain of searing loss,
    The Father turns His face away
    As wounds which mar the Chosen One,
    Bring many sons to glory

    Behold the Man upon a cross,
    My sin upon His shoulders
    Ashamed I hear my mocking voice,
    Call out among the scoffers

    It was my sin that held Him there
    Until it was accomplished
    His dying breath has brought me life
    I know that it is finished

    I will not boast in anything
    No gifts, no power, no wisdom
    But I will boast in Jesus Christ
    His death and resurrection

    Why should I gain from His reward?
    I cannot give an answer
    But this I know with all my heart
    His wounds have paid my ransom!

    ~Stuart Townend

February 27, 2009

  • Victories

    I have come to the conclusion that I need to celebrate the victories that God works in my life.  I am uncertain as to how to go about this.  I say this for two reasons.  One is because I have seen God do some working in my life this past year in several ways, and I’ve been excited to see success in areas where I’ve failed so dramatically before.  The ‘problem’ (if it could be thus termed) is that I don’t know how to do so without a.) feeling like I’m trying to make myself ‘look good’ (as if yapping about a failure overcome can be an emphasis on ‘looking good’) and b.) setting myself up for future failure due to pride/overconfidence/feeling like something is ‘conquered’ to the point that I no longer need to worry about it.  This is the dilemma.

    The second reason I say that I feel the need to celebrate the victories God works in my life is so that on days (perhaps like today) when I do fail in one way or another, I can fail honestly, in the sense that I am fully aware of the problems and sin of my failure and my need for repentance, forgiveness and restoration, and yet I am not despondent and ‘stuck’ in the rottenness of failure, due to the fact that I can look back into recent history and see that a.) I know how to gain the victory over whatever it may be through Christ and b.) God did do that work just recently through His mighty power so c.) get back up and go at ‘em.

    The good news is that I feel God has really convicted me rather dramatically (in several areas, actually) in regards to the tongue and its use.  God has helped me many, many, many times this year and last, especially at school, (but it’s spread across the borders of my worlds) to keep my mouth shut when it would dearly love to be open.  Only He alone knows how many catastrophes have been avoided by this practice, how many hours of sleep not missed due to not having to deal with some inane, dramatic consequence of too many words and how many extra-strength Excedrin have not been consumed thanks to His victorious work in my life.

    The bad news is that I failed to be victorious in this area today.  It is not good, but in this particular way, I must be honest and say that it really is kind of cool that God allowed me to feel how un-fun it felt to be convicted of gossiping.  Previously, I would have stated what I said this morning and not given it a second thought (particularly as it was against an impersonal, bodied group, rather than individuals–not that that somehow makes it any more ‘okay’).  Today, I did give it a second thought, and a third one, and a fourth, and having (thankfully) confessed it to God a few minutes previous, repented, and having experienced His restoration, I’m glad to know that it’s not as easy for me to gossip as once it was.  That is a victory, of sorts.

    I want to remember, though, next time, when I am tempted to share that juicy tidbit (even if it isn’t about a person) that I a.) don’t know for certain is true (I heard from _________ who, of course had to get it from ________ who you know knows what he’s talking about) and b.) isn’t helpful and c.) isn’t my business, that God forgives…and that is much for which to be thankful; but how oh-so-much-more fun it would be to do right, right from the start and be able to celebrate a victory with God (and somehow celebrate without being puffed up or without spilling the beans–’Andrea! I’m so glad I did right and didn’t gossip to June about Frank and Laura secretly dating!’).   And no!  I don’t know Andrea, June, Frank or Laura!

    John Piper articulates such thought much better than I (of course!)…and this quote is something I’ve read multiple times in the interest of attempting to suck every last morsel of truth out of it and let it soak into my being and burst forth in my actions.  “When I sin, I am believing a lie that there is more pleasure, happiness, or gain to be found in that sin than in obedience. Stated conversely, when I sin I am disbelieving God’s promises. I am rejecting God and all that He claims that He is. Therefore, the ultimate battle with sin is not to be had at the level that most of us fight it at, trying through willpower to not do what our flesh is calling us to. The ultimate battle is one of believing or disbelieving God’s promises. I must prize God above all things in order to not reject God and pursue sin.”  Battling Unbelief:  Defeating Sin with Superior Pleasure

    I’m thinking on it…because for reasons I can’t fully articulate just now, (and I know for a fact there are gallons of ink that have been aptly and correctly spilled on the subject), I believe that God wants us to celebrate His goodness in our lives, both to bring glory to Him and to be a marker on which we can look back to rejoice in His faithfulness and His continued work in our lives in making us more and more like Jesus…kind of as a ‘Look how far He’s brought us!  Hallelujah!  I know He’ll take us the rest of the way Home from here…let’s go!’  The Old Testament is full of example after example of God commanding the Israelites to celebrate His goodness and faithfulness to them–everything from monuments to feasts.  I need to be more purposeful about this.

    Today has held several extremes on the emotional gamut–the above defeat, the subsequent victory of sorts, an extremely stressful situation with a school parent and the beautiful victory of watching God place His peace that passes all understanding over and in and around and under and throughout me so that I was able to answer calmly and ‘softly’ (Proverbs 15:1) and yet boldly and truthfully…and have now moved on to bigger and better things, leaving the anxiety that would have previously plagued me and invaded my weekend back in the five o’clock hour of Friday night.  PRAISE HIS GLORIOUS NAME!!!!!!!   I cannot tell you how much I love living in His freedom!

    So how about it?  What victories has God wrought in your life recently?  How are you, today, a little bit more like Jesus?

    I heard an old, old story
    How a Savior came from glory
    How He gave His life on Calvary
    To save a wretch like me!
    I heard about His groaning
    Of His precious blood’s atoning
    Then I repented of my sins
    And won the victory!

    Oh victory in Jesus!
    My Savior, forever!
    He sought me and bought me
    With His redeeming blood
    He loved me ‘ere I knew Him
    And all my love is due Him
    He plunged me to Victory
    Beneath the Cleansing Flood!
    ~E.M. Bartlett

February 21, 2009

  • Healthy Hot Chocolate

    Can I tell you how thankful I am for the blessing of drinking Hot Chocolate?  With all of my life-long foods awash down the river of Pursuant Health, the ability to have a warm, sweet (to me) soothing drink has been a blessing, indeed, this winter.  Last year, in the midst of figuring all this schtuff out and after I found out that I was allowed nothing with wheat, corn, white rice, potatoes, peanuts, sugar, fake sugars (which I’ve never liked anyways) yellow cheese or basically anything that breaks down in the body as sugar unless it’s fresh fruits or vegetables, I had an intention to start a blog wholly devoted to my learnings of healthy eating and the like.  Ahhh, ambition…and then, of course, the reality of life with a screwy adrenal system.  It was a fabulous day if I was awake, dressed, coherant, marginally interactive and out-of-pain for eight hours.  Lunch out with a friend was strenuous and teaching took me way past my limits.  I had absolutely nothing left in me for basic life functions, much less research and postulation.

    I don’t remember exactly when it was last summer that I had the dawning realization that one of my favorite summertime treats didn’t have to be completely off limits–that unsweetened baking cocoa, while disgusting to taste, obviously had no sugar and wasn’t on the highly invasive list of ‘nos’.  There was, of course, the problem of taste, but if the ingredient was legal, I figured there had to be a way to make it tolerable, or even, dare I hope, enjoyable.  Even after only a couple of months, I knew my taste buds were changing, due to the fact that I began to tolerate fruits and vegetables that for thirty-one years were anathema to me.  Not getting to ‘test’ them out, however, on sugar, meant I didn’t really come to an understanding of how radically different my body was until my birthday week in November, where my Mama’s to-die-for Texas Sheet Cake officially fell off the wagon on my list of ‘the only thing I wanted for my wedding reception’, due to my changed taste buds and the inability to enjoy sugar as in days of yore.  Not that I’m complaining, mind you–I’m thankful beyond words that so many of the cravings have eventually melted away as even the most stubborn pile of snow under a spring sun–but last summer, the cravings were so intense.  If I could just have a taste of chocolate, I thought I, at least in a micro-scopic way, sympathized with the sentiment of the Rich Man in Luke 16.

    Enter The New Chocolate Milk…and, come October and Cool Nights, Healthy Hot Chocolate.  It has been wonderful.  Now, I enjoy it on the rare, leisurely morning that I’m ready to head out the door for the day at six o’clock instead of six-thirty, on Saturday mornings, of course, and any night throughout the week that I’m in the mood to sip something warm and tasty that has greater substance than a cup of tea.  I never thought that something pefectly healthy could taste so good, especially in the venue of all things Chocolate, but it has been a happy morsel of my existance many, many times over these past months, and as I’m coming up on the One Year Anniversary of Eating to Live Well, one of my favorite blessings!

    I thought, perhaps, after all these ravings of the delights of the drink, you may wish for the ‘recipe’ or however it should be termed, so I will indulge your cravings.  To warn you, I fixed it for Daniel and he remained unconvinnced that it was ‘as good as’ ‘normal’ hot chocolate, but he did drink it all…and of course, you could always add sugar. Just don’t forget to change the title.   Of course, I never measure anything…and it’s really about your own taste…

    Deborah’s (New) Favorite Hot Chocolate (The Healthy Version)

    • One large mug of milk, (or a cup and a half, in a measuring cup) with enough room left over in the cup to add in two other liquids.
    • Add enough (organic, or not) baking chocolate (powder form) to give it a good chocolate flavor.  I’m going to go out on a limb and guesstimate that it is in the vicinity of two well-rounded (if not heaping) teaspoons/tablespoons.  I’ve found that because it likes to clump together and doesn’t disperse well, I pop out my splatter screen that I use over pans on the stovetop and place the powdered chocolate on top of that, on top of the cup, and then use a spoon to ‘sift’ the chocolate through the screen and into the cup.
    • Use a whisk or a fork or a spoon to ‘stir’ up the powder as best you can (it still will clump).
    • Put the mix into a saucepan and heat it on the stove top or into the microwave for approximately two minutes.  Continue to stir while heating on the stove top or stop it about every forty seconds while in the microwave.  Watch to make sure it doesn’t boil over and cause a mess.  It makes it all less fun.
    • Upon pouring it back into the cup (or taking the cup out of the microwave), pour in enough vanilla extract to change the color, according to flavor.  A very guesstimated answer would be two-three tablespoons of the larger bottles of vanilla (if it’s the concentrated stuff, (non-imitation?) I’m not sure–haven’t tried that yet).  Make sure that the larger, ‘Imitation Vanilla Extract’ bottles don’t have sugars or fake sugars in them.  If you normally use sugar, you’ll want plenty of vanilla.  You also may wish to use two-three drops of liquid stevia, if you have it, especially if you prefer sweeter.
    • Get organic (or not) heavy whipping cream and shake it while the hot chocolate is in the microwave or on the stovetop (when you’re not stirring!).  When the whipping cream is sufficiently ‘whipped’ pour it into the mug on up to the top.  If it’s thick enough it may even ‘set’ on the top a bit.
    • Sprinkle organic (or not) cinnamon on top of the cream in the hot chocolate.
    • Sip your frothy, yummy, creamy, warm, chocolatey, cinnamony drink with pleasure, giving thanks to God for His blessings, big and small!

    There you have it–one of a myriad things that brings a smile to my face and is healthy.  How like God…and how exciting!

    Happy Saturday!

    Deborah

February 16, 2009

  • Wow!

    First off, I must say a great-big-thank-you to Old Hat!  His generosity in spreading the word about Kristin’s new blog was both lovely and amazing to see!  She is up and will be running as much as forming a new habit and three kids ages 3 and under will permit.   I also want to thank all of you who so generously followed his recommendation…Kristin was quite surprised to find herself so welcomed and it was fun to watch…so, Thank You!   It was nice to meet some of you for myself, as well!

    It’s been truly a crazy couple of weeks.  Last week, the earliest I arrived home from school was on Thursday night…and that was after 6 pm.  Monday-Tuesday-Wednesday, the earliest was 8 pm.  I’ve GOT to come up with a means by which that doesn’t happen on a regular basis.  I’m a much healthier person and less inclined-towards-grumpiness when I get home while it’s still daylight.  However, conferences are over for the year and went well (praise God!) and as of this weekend, I took home NOTHING to grade.  It’s been lovely.  If I can get the house back up to speed, I will post pictures of that, too…I started taking pictures back on our Snow Week and am excited even for myself to be able to see the progress!

    Today I’m at the “lots of progress but long ways to go” mark…and with the potentiality for some rearranging of house scenarios, I want to be at the “my house is in order, I have nothing in it that does not have a place and a purpose and you’re welcome to come use it as much as you need” point.  I probably won’t get there today, (especially with the Little Mister coming over later ) but I want to strive hard for it none-the-less.

    I’ve been following a new practice now for three days and I’m interested in seeing if I can keep it up from now through the end of the school year.  It’s been a very good thing thus far.  I’m out-loud telling people that I am planning to go to bed at 9:15 pm……this from the Utter Night Owl herself.  I am LOVING that even if I just get ready for bed at 9:15 pm and don’t actually begin to sleep until 10:00 o’clock, at three in the morning, I’ve already had five hours’ sleep.  That is a beauteous thing, indeed.  I want to continue this habit/practice because I am sneakily suspicious that it could do wonders for me.  I also am feeling strongly convicted that now that I’m not dealing with itching and torn-open skin on a daily basis that it does not mean that I can return to previously unhealthy habits.  I haven’t gone back to eating whatever, and I haven’t started to just not take care of my skin, so why would I make sleep less a priority?  I realize that sometimes things do come up and it just won’t happen…but as a habit, and to get Miss I Feel Like I’ll Miss Something If I Go To Bed Early to sleep, I’m making it a regular practice to plan my evenings to follow through.  I think that’s probably not a bad idea at all.

    Well, if I’m to be productive today, I need to be off & running.  I can’t tell you how cool it is to be ready to dive into my day at 10:00 am instead of just pulling myself out of bed with what I imagine a hangover headache is like.  I’ve already gotten to spend specific time with God, check the news, jot a few notes to friends, read xanga, write xanga, chat with a friend on the phone, make some plans and all while having had 10+ wonderful hours of sleep.  I think I could be persuaded…

    Have a lovely day!
    ~Deborah

January 30, 2009

  • An Introduction!

    I have an introduction to make…

    My lovely, favorite, sister-in-law Kristin (I have to say that while I can!) has her own blog in this lovely land of Xanga.  Please stop her Little House on the Internet to say hello and welcome her to the wide and wonderful world of blogging.


January 28, 2009

  • God Working!

    Hahahha!  I  L O V E  seeing God work!

    I was on the phone with my brother who is working a second job to provide for his family as a waiter.  I had a short conversation with him as his last tables were there and he was discouraged about the prospects for the table…after 10 years in the business, you get to where you can reasonably estimate how a table will tip.

    Side note:  servers make half of minimum wage.  They depend on their tips as their form of income.  Second side note:  please give quality service a quality gratuity.  Third side note:  please do not pray, leave a tract or any indication that you are a Christian if you are not going to leave a quality (20% or higher) tip for quality service.  Also, see second side note.  Final side note:  if you are going to leave a tract or something of the sort, tip as generously as you would want someone to tip you if they were going to ask you to take up your time to read something they wanted you to read.

    Back to the story…we hung up so that he could tend to his tables (no, he was not on the phone when he should have been tending to people, tables or food) and I started praying that God would generously prove David wrong, both in his expectation for the table and in his need to provide for his family.

    May I just say how fantastic it is to live in the care of the Living God of the Universe?  I mean, here I am, thirteen hours away from this particular restaurant and just as unable to ‘make’ anything happen here as if I were there.  (I mean, come on–what would I do?  Go up to the table and tell them “Tip well–that’s my brother”?)  But God is not dead nor doth He sleep, nor is He limited by miles or manners and He can and does choose to provide the means and the motivation for people to do His will.  According to His gracious mercies, He moved the table that David expected to tip poorly/not at all to give 20% of their tab, a second table to give 30+% and a third table to give 50+%!!!!  Hallelujah!

    When David called, he was overwhelmed at God’s goodness and I couldn’t stop laughing at the beauty of getting to ‘watch’ the sovereign hand of God move in first person (via the telephone!).   That is so cool!!!

    It used to be that while I would be glad of God’s choosing to work in one area, I would still be discouraged and weighted down by all the other trauma and trials in the world, the cases of very good friends who are in pain and struggling greatly, the sins I know that have ensnared some precious people, and various and sundry forms of sin rampant throughout the world.

    God has been teaching me that His sovereignty means just that.  He is sovereign.  He chooses to do and to make and to work and to move what He will do and make and work and move.  That would be a very scary prospect, if it weren’t for His immovable justice and His Cross-encompassing mercy and grace.  Because of them, however, I can rest…truly rest…knowing that when I beg Him to strengthen and heal hurting people, He will answer, and His answer will be right and good and loving.  And, I can truly rest in equal confidence that when He chooses to answer my prayers for needs with an immediate yes, His answer is right and good and loving.  How free to live in that!  What a magnificent privilege of being a child of the King!

    I heard this once from a man who had lost his wife and mother within six months of each other, in very different circumstances…and it is just as true now as it always is:  God is good, because He is good, because He is good, because He is God.

    I Thessalonians 5:18  “In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you!”

    !

January 23, 2009

  • It’s Friday.

    I’m hungry.

    I slept from 4 pm to 8 pm yesterday…and then went back to sleep at 11 and slept till 5:05.  I think I could be ready for bed in an hour.  If I could just figure out that hours of sleep are as essential for me as air, water, food and blood, I could conquer the world in the 15 hours I’m awake.

    I’m looking forward (as per usual) to the new Esther Bible study (Mrs. Moore) that we are doing now.

    Half of my bathroom sink looks *lovely*.

    I have f  i  n  a  l  l  y finished the main work on a spreadsheet database that I began six – seven years ago and we began using it at an inservice yesterday.  After putting in over 40 hours on it last week on our two snow days and the subsequent weekend, giddy doesn’t begin to describe how I feel about it.  And yet, I’m too tired to be giddy. *sigh*

    I have begun some serious digging into studying finances and all that goes with it.  In another life, I think I could have been a financeer for people (but definitely not this one!).

    I’ve actually started several posts this week, all much more thought-provoking and opinion-inducing than this smashalection of Facebook Status Statements, and yet all are languishing in various states of short-falling either online in ‘private’ status or in the nether-regions of my mind.

    However, if half a loaf is better than none, is half a post better than not even one complete thought?  We shall see.

    Shill thanked me for coming over this afternoon so she could do some work whilst I entertained the Little Mister.  I thanked her for the free therapy.   Having a baby to play with and then return to his Momma when he gets fussy is better than a pet to pat…and thrice as much fun.  Having said that, I am thoroughly enjoying this purring furr-ball that is so sweetly putting her paw on my neck and so cozily warming my lap.

    I’m planning a bedtime early enough to be able to (Lord willing!) arise with energy to accomplish various and sundry household tasks that have also been languishing in (more serious) states of short-falling (broaching the verge of disrepair).  It will be one excited chickie, indeed, if you have a report tomorrow evening (however brief) that reports the unexpected yet glorious return to equillibrium in some of the scarier rooms of Fidelicharis House.  We shall see.

    I’m also wondering if I can fit in a rousing round of The Original Oregon Trail.  I haven’t played it in a couple of years…but for some reason, I’ve been missing the Fletcher Top Days of Oregon Trail Championships that Bek & I used to hold in good old L-1.  I’ll have to break it out (if I can find it in the above-mentioned states of this humble abode) and have a go ’round.   For *some* mysterious reason, my school kiddos don’t consider this “video games” when I tell them that I enjoy video games, too, but that doesn’t stop me from getting my homework finished!

    In the meantime, I hope you are warm, well-fed and content this Friday evening!


    I’ll be back…